more and more and more......what to do what to do???

I am wore out!!!!!!! When my youngest daughter get sick, SHR GETS SICK! she never get just a runny nose or a cough. NOOOOO not her she has to get full blown everything. I have been up withher all night. She spiked a fever and could not stop shaking. She could not keep her meds down so I had to take her to the hospital. NOW mind you i dont live in the city of Abu Dhabi. I live in a small town with the nationals. It is cleaper and I thought it would be more Islamic. HOwever, I didnt think about times like this when I need to find something at night and NO ONE SPEAKS ENGLISH!!!!!!!!!!! so needless to say I had an adventure. It too me forever to do anything. But we did finally find the doctors office. My baby greeted them nicly. The lady asked her what was wrong with her. My lovely daughter opened her mouth and everything came out!!!! I guess the nurse kind of fingure out what was wrong with her. lol....... Al humduillah she is doing better the meds are working. She is sleeping and I HAVE TO GO TO WORK. I really hate this. As much as I love having the extras I think I might stop working next year. By then our house in Egypt should be done . Well my side anyway. So I could go and just relax. I have to give this one to my husband. HE does not forceme to go to Egypt. Working and Living seperate has been my choice and and him think about comming here with her was only because I refused to go to egypt. He is allowing me to do my own thing so I can be happy and have time to get used to all the newness in our lives. HE is allowing me to be my own person. I LOVE him for that. I really want to be with him. I do I REALLY do . The thing is, Will that make me crazy. I mean I do not know i fI am ready to go to Egypt. I do not know if I am ready to surrender all my freedom to him just yet. I dont know if I would like not calling my own shots in alot of things. I woul dhave to stay home.........Cook, clean, be a house wife......dont get me wrong!!! I have nothing against beign a house wife. I did it for years!!! But this man is let me just say..........high matainance. He wants all of my time and attention. Then i will have 3 kids wanting all my time.........I think I will be crazy..not only will I have to live on his money only......... so will my kids.....they will have to change their lifestyle and I dont know if that is fair.
We do not do much or spend alot of money...trust me i am cheap. But we do little things like go to the park to roller blade..........well if anyone has been to or lived in egypt .u know that is not going to happen.........Here everything is nice an dkids friendly.......If i were there.first I would not have been able to buy the roller blades ever though they were only $10 a piece. I would be on a strict budget and couldnot afford them. Second NO real parks there........and forget the streets..........OMG....you can barely walk in them so you really cant rollerblade in them......
we go to the mall and just walk. we may buy a doughnut or an ice cream coneand they love it. My kids do not need alot to be happy. But they do not like staying in the house all the time being miserable. There will be NO t.v. in egypty. Hubby is very strict on that in HIS home. I have been able to talk him into free satailte but to look at Islamic shows only. MY kids love discovery and animal planet. Once a week I allow them to look at cartoons. Even my oldest daughter do not look at anything other than these things.......Every now an dthen she may ask to looka t a movie but they r very tame.........But to haev NOTHING might be a big deal.......who know Allah knows best, I could be makign a big deal out of nothing. I might go there and love it..........NOT!!!! All I know is I do not want to work. I am sick of it. I would liek to spend more time with my kids..........mind you not all day but more time...........and I would like to spend more time with my husband.............Just not all day everyday.........Trust me if I was there I would see him everyday. Either durign the day or at night. ... HE loves attentiona nd this would make him so happy..........jumping from house to house .........getting attention all day everyday..........
So whats a girl to do.

well off to work, will post later :(