Down but not out

Today i feel alone. Inshaallah this will pass but I do hate this feeling. I hate that I am alone and they have each other. I hate that I have to heal alone while he can roll over and be loved while i have nothing.

I know I am the winner in this. If there is a true winner. we are all llosers really. He is no prize so what did she get. A man that will do to her what he did to me. A man that will hurt her and only ran to her after I gave him no ooption........So no he didnt choose her.......I handed him to her on a silver plater. I knew I could not take this kind of life anymore. I did not need nor do I want to life a life where i have to wonder when the next woman will come in. I do want to be loved by my own husband. I want to trust and feel secure......... he was not willing or able to do that for me...... I lost years, tears, and part of myself. I am happy i am able to find her and love her again. So maybe I will never be loved by him again but now maybe........hopefully.........no. definatly I will love myself.