As salaamu alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu, This is my life…this is my world the way “I” see it. It may not be nice and most times it is not pretty. However, it is what it is. This is what I am looking for…to live my life…..and love it……..accept it…..the good the bad……and all the ugly. You heard of love the skin you in…..Well I wanna LOVE the Life Im in…..

Monday, October 22, 2007

Down but not out

Today i feel alone. Inshaallah this will pass but I do hate this feeling. I hate that I am alone and they have each other. I hate that I have to heal alone while he can roll over and be loved while i have nothing.

I know I am the winner in this. If there is a true winner. we are all llosers really. He is no prize so what did she get. A man that will do to her what he did to me. A man that will hurt her and only ran to her after I gave him no ooption........So no he didnt choose her.......I handed him to her on a silver plater. I knew I could not take this kind of life anymore. I did not need nor do I want to life a life where i have to wonder when the next woman will come in. I do want to be loved by my own husband. I want to trust and feel secure......... he was not willing or able to do that for me...... I lost years, tears, and part of myself. I am happy i am able to find her and love her again. So maybe I will never be loved by him again but now definatly I will love myself.


  • At 11:51 PM, Blogger PM said…

    I never knew what went down in your situation and wasn't sure where your husband's other marriage stood, but I can't help but think that you have carved out the best hope for your future by taking this move and new job as a path to happiness. Insha'Allah that will include a fulfilling career, happy and healthy kids, and a committed partner who values and respects you.

    There is a lot to be said for loving yourself. After all, it is the starting place for others to love you.

    Salaam Alaikum,

  • At 12:55 AM, Blogger Sultana said…

    Salam Alaikum Sister, ive just found your blog and read the most recent post here, and i just wanted to say to you:

    We have to strive no matter what happens for the pleasure of Allah, sometimes we question oursleves and our decisions we make, we might find ourselves lost in the dark, but know that you can also be blinded by the sun. Im sure you know this but what i mean is "What you might think is good for you, can be bad for you, and what you think is bad for you, might be good for you". Allah knows best, and we should try our best to be patient and pray for reward in all aspects of our life. We cant always understand why Allah tests us in ways "he" does and why when we make good pure intentions the reward isnt always there for them, but know, inshallah, on our day, our intentions and patience and how we delt with the outcome of them is all that matters to Allah. Our intentions are what matters, so, start everyday with pure intentions and have patience Sister and Inshallah Allah will bless you with health and happiness in this life and the next.ameen.

    you sister in islam,
    sultana :)

  • At 2:49 PM, Blogger Safa said…



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