As salaamu alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu, This is my life…this is my world the way “I” see it. It may not be nice and most times it is not pretty. However, it is what it is. This is what I am looking for…to live my life…..and love it……..accept it…..the good the bad……and all the ugly. You heard of love the skin you in…..Well I wanna LOVE the Life Im in…..

Thursday, August 02, 2007

summer is almost over for me

Well I will go back to work soon. I have stayed away from this blog because I really could not deal withthe comments.

I took the kids on a few trips. They had such a nice time. We will go on one more before I go back to work and after we move. Inshaallah.
My job is moving me to some remote place. I am soooo upset then on top of that my right hand, my maid , quit. She wants to go home to her mom. I do not balme her. It has been 3 yrs since she has seen her mom. SHE is a great young woman. I know I can never replace her. Yes, get another maid but she will NEVEr be replaced. She is a daughter to me. I love her dearly.

My hubby and I are slowly getting back to normal. This eventfull summer whiped us out. We have been very distant but now, alhumduillah, things are gettign better. I know for me I was just fed up and tired. I think after she left I got to just exhale and when I did the wind blew. I let it all out things I didnt know i thought or felt. So we have been talking and thinking and we will see what comes from it. Like I said this broke our bond and we are not close. I do not feel him like i did before. I used to enjoy him just being around. Now .............. I used to love to feel his leg on me at night.........not now
I used to just like to sit and more. So things have changed. SOme for the better. Some for the worse.

I have 2 weeks before I have to start work. Until that time I will be packing, moving, and taking my kids on one more short trip. Sunday is my mans 10 birthday. I call him my man because he so wants to be all grown up. HE said he is a alpha male in training. OH boy!!!!! I do love him. If i had to pick a favorite i would say it is him. I guess it is the mother son things. Do not get me wrong. I LOVE my girls. they are special and sweet and loving. However, my son ...I think it is becuae he is so much like his dad. I mean for him to not really know him since he died before he was 2; he acts so much like him. he walks like him and sits like him . His body is shaped like his. HE is very soft spoken and his personality is like his. For whatever reason HE is my heart. I am so happy to see him reach 10. This yr has been rough on him. HE was sick so much and just was not himself. He wants to have pizza. Last yr he had his first meal from Mcdonalds that was not a kids meal. HE picked a big mac. HE was sooooo stuffed he could not walk home. this yr he is taking his friend to pizza hut. We do not go out to eat often so this is a real treat for them. I try to do something special on all my kids birthdays. I write them all a note tellign them about the yr. I tell them anything crazy they di dand how much i love them. I put them in a box i have for each of them. When they are older and have kids or when I die they will get them. I think this will be special inshaallah. they will get to remember things that i am sure they will have forgotten.

well that is it for me. Inshaallah I will post once I move. That is if my internet is hooked up by then. We will see; this place is soooooo slow.


  • At 4:42 AM, Blogger Honorary Arab said…


    Lots of change! You know---the world is always turning, we just don't feel it. ;)

    Congrats to getting your boy to age 10. My daughter turns 10 before long. So! We were pregnant that same time...and had our kids right before Princess Diana died. Remember?

    Enjoy your kids :)

    And if you can't enjoy all the same things as you used to with your hub, it's OK. Find something and thank God. Then, ask for Allah to make you see more things to be grateful for. Even with all the bad I experienced in my marriage, I still found things to be grateful for...then and now :)


  • At 10:43 PM, Blogger Safa said…

    Hey...I join the Princess Diana club too...I was in Egypt at the own baby was about a month old....or maybe it was two?

    You do sound good, LLLI.....I hear some pain there too.....

    Its great that Allah gave you a precious son so like your deceased husband....masha Allah!!!


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