As salaamu alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu, This is my life…this is my world the way “I” see it. It may not be nice and most times it is not pretty. However, it is what it is. This is what I am looking for…to live my life…..and love it……..accept it…..the good the bad……and all the ugly. You heard of love the skin you in…..Well I wanna LOVE the Life Im in…..

Wednesday, July 04, 2007

last post with the words MY co wife

sad sad sad!!

I will not post anything on this blog about my co anymore. All of you sorry negative woman can keep your thought to your self.

One thing is this. I did not have to say thing were going bad becuase that is my choice just like having her stay here was MY choice.

When she went into the hospital things went wrong then. I prayed things would get better but they didnt. I asked for yoyour prayer and sadi emotions were powerful....

That is because all these things stem from emotions.

the thing is it is no ones fault.

Yes she chose to do many things and Many of you would LOVE to blame it on my husband....So what!!!

I know the truth. The thing is her lies and deciet have been untangling for 3 weeks not but they just all came to a head so there was no reason to post becasue unil they were known to be true. I could not speak on them.
How could I talk about her with lies or half truths. I had to know the truth......And I called my friends and they knew everythign that was goign on fromt he day they started to happen.

Safa was there for me ont he phone so many time.....Thank you for all your support. YOU have been my friend...the one perosn that knows EVERYTHING. If you all are so silly to think I would post EVERYTHING about my life on here it just shows how you think.
but the thing is this woman wanted my husband all to herself not just from me

she broke up his friendship with his best friend

but i guess my husband told her to do that too.
I guess he told her to lie on his best friend and say he made her cook and clean his home, he made her wake in t he middle of the night to do chores for him and his family when my huabdn was no there
i guess it was my husband that told her to lie and say his son tried to see her naked or that he did not take her to the doctors or feed her. All the while telling my husband everythign was goign great she just loved his friend ...that is until he got back home and she made her move....
a smart move telling him to not say anything because you never want to burn bridges.....just keep it to hisself becasue they were leavign Egypt anyway and never had to talk to him again unless they returned to egypt to stay in the flat they rented from him.

I also guess my husband told her to tell her parents that i beat her and locked her in a bathroom for days. i didnt feed her and had her sleeping on the floor. but all the while telling me how nice i was and how much she loved me.......all that until her lies started to unravel.......
then she had to tell the truth ....that is when she told me the things she said. she owned up to her feelings.

The sad thing is this poor girl has just spent time in a mental hospital here and they said she has a few very serious problems.

but i guess my husband told her to fake it and tell the doctors the things she did

so no i didnt tell people all my business. I waited and gave my sister in islam 100 excuses for her actions.

Heck no i do not want your pitty
i do not even know any of you but safa and ashley.
I do this to write my thoughts and events that happened in my life.
and YEs i leave many of them out.
I guess i needed to tell you all i got my daughter her first traing bra, or that my husband was constipated........ how dumb........

No i do not and will not write all the things that happen when they happen. I may tell you and i may not ....... all the peopel that had postive things to say. even those that do not agree with my like PM.

The thing is she said things with class and not ghetto

to the rest of you ............... oh well my life goes on

the fact is
I am ok

No i do not like what has been going on. But I will not allow it to depress me.
I still love this woman and feel so sorry for her.
No i do not trust her
She will never come into my home
But I love her for the sake of Allah.
I will still help he in anyway I can to make sure she gets the help she needs.
May Allah help US ALL!!!

you sorry people that do not even put your names to a post just have sorry lives and misery loves company
when i said things were nice .....2 or 4 comments......once something went vultures came out.
I have so many comment that i didnt post becasue they were so mean and tasteless. I hope you are not muslim.
If so I will let Allah deal with you.


  • At 2:37 PM, Blogger Wisdom Lover said…

    Take it easy, please. As I've said before: you stand out alone. So, stand tall. If only there was some way to clone you. Maybe there is: sooner or later you will win. The husband-bashers will either change or look elsewhere for new meat. The kinder, gentler, husband-loving, cospouse accommodating, super wives will join you. You'll have plenty of company to keep you busy from getting all worked up about bad comments. Hang in there: you know you are right, we know you are right; and most important they (in their deep hearts) know you are very, very right. May Allah reward you. Amen.

  • At 5:32 PM, Blogger PM said…

    Salaam Alaikum Sister,

    I am truly sorry that our comments have stirred such anger and pain for you. The good thing about having a blog is that it is YOUR space and you can edit or delete as serves your best interests.

    It is sad to hear about your cw's mental illness. That is something that sits like a heavy weight on all relationships. Ultimately, though, regardless of her condition you have to look out for the best interests of you and your family. I hope your children are doing well and that you don't let bitterness find a home in your heart.

  • At 8:12 PM, Blogger Cairogal said…

    If you started a public blog expecting everyone to support you, you were sorely misguided. It's one thing to opt out of posting hateful and insulting comments. It's another thing to type your running monologue, commenting on posts that no one else has read. To be honest, it's one of the reasons those posts are almost completely incoherent.

    If you are not open to the negative commentary that you are receiving, perhaps you should have Safa remove your blog from her list (as I assume that's where a lot of your traffic is coming from). You might also consider just making this a private blog.

  • At 11:49 PM, Blogger Safa said…

    Assalaamu alaikum....

    If the anon's are getting to you, turn em off for awhile. That way they'd have to get a name to post. and I both know that you are doing an amazing job. You are probably the only woman that I know that has the ability to be a GREAT co wife. Half the time you tell me, (no pun intended!!) that his marriage is in trouble, but your marriage is firm. You've NEVER acted like his marriage to the new wife included you in the equation. It's his marriage, and his problems.

    You've been a gracious host...masha Allah!

    You've kept your nose outta his business...masha Allah!

    You've been sympathetic and kind to your co wife...masha Allah!

    You've been approving and likeable to her as well...masha Allah!

    You've been supportive to your husband...masha Allah!

    You've given your husband plenty of space to deal with issues, when other wives woulda been dying for any news....masha Allah!

    You've continued to be a good mother to your kids...masha Allah!

    You've continued to be strong for your kids, taking them out and away from any of the problems when they were in your house....masha Allah!

    You've been blogging to relieve pressure, and then been fighting over here as well....masha Allah!!

    AND YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE? You are holding it together. You are still sane. You still make legible sentences...(with horrible spelling mistakes...oh well!!)

    What can I say? MASHA ALLAH!!!!!

    Don't let everyone get you defensive.....some of the sisters that comment, I know them....and they really mean well. Remember that sometimes ppls questions allow us to think of things we may not have thought of on our own.

    Continue on your same path...ur doing well. Don't look back, only look forward. Insha Allah, there has to be a easier road ahead......pinky's at the ready.....

  • At 8:48 AM, Blogger Livin_life_and loving_it said…


    You are right I have been answering many comments without posting them.I am sure that is very confusing.
    No, I didnt expect people to agree with me not even 50% of the time because i KNOw what I do and how I feel is not the 'NORM' but I didnt think I would be attacked as I have been.

    I also think that right now I am a bit more emotional becuase of all the things that are going on.

    Even with all she has done I NEVER wanted any harm to come to her. And to know that she has these mental issues now makes it even worse. It is sad....... and to have to look at my husabdn suffer mentally and Physically right now is even harder.

    This is very hard on him to have a pregnant wife in a mental hospital and have to make decisions that are the harderst he will have to make in his life........

    So now i am emotionsal and this is where I vent. sometimes my thoughts are unclear and all over the place because that is where i am ......All over and unclear becuase whilei can look at what she did and said and feel anger I really feel more pain and grief for her.....

    No matter what she is my sister....not just in Islam but in my heart

  • At 10:18 PM, Blogger Shabana said…

    I hope none of my comments have made you feel this way. If I did say something that upset you, please forgive me. Having said that, maybe a lot of the negative comments you receive are due to most people not being familiar with polygyny. I think to the rest of us, when we read blogs by sisters in these marriages, they are more like a very interesting story--even though they are very real experiences and pain that someone is going through.

    And the fact that your blog is public, makes people feel free to post their opinions and comments even though they may not be very nice. On the other hand, it's hard to convey a feeling or emotion well through this medium either.

    I agree with Safa. Particularly about not allowing anonymous posters.

    I have always thought you are handling your difficulties with the grace and maturity that befits a Muslimah. I hope that even if you decide to not post anymore details about the situation with your co-wife, that you will at least give us small updates now and then about how you are doing, insha Allah.

    Your sister in Islam-shabana :-)

  • At 3:40 AM, Blogger Relief said…

    Salamu alaykum,
    May Allah make it easy for you and bless you and your family. You have a big heart sister and don't let what other people say or do affect that.

  • At 6:46 AM, Blogger Honorary Arab said…

    Asalamalayakom...wishing you peace,

    Sweetheart, you are really reeling. I read you today for the first time in a long time and you aren't the same person who could write so eloquently about Ken.

    Where did she go?

    So much seems to be swirling that you write dizzily.

    Leave us be. Don't come back to us for awhile. We don't matter. Our opinions don't matter.

    You matter.

    Your children matter.

    Your husband matters.

    Add your parents, loved family members and trusted friends.

    Leave us out of it for now. We are not bringing you any peace.

    Only search for peace and truth, my friend. Nothing else matters.

    You are loved.

    Be simple.

    Feel the love and the peace when you search for the truth---search quietly; internally. Don't come here to do that. It won't benefit you right now.

    I hear that in your jumbled thoughts.

    I hear the hurt and pain and confusion.

    I wish that I could just clear some of the craziness away and let you enjoy the life you want.

    Maybe you can do that. See what is simple and easy and just do that for days and days.

    No internet and being a defender and defensive. Just be.

    Just relax in your safe spot...wherever it is...and I know you have one somewhere...breathe in and feel God. And say, "Alhumdulillah."

    But don't tell us about it. Don't. We don't need to know. Only let Allah know the contents of your heart. Only Allah can love you like you need right now. None of us are worthy of your tender heart. Open it to Allah and ask Allah to calm you.

    Masalama...wishing you peace.


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