ALLAH IS MY HAPPINESS

As salaamu alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu, This is my life…this is my world the way “I” see it. It may not be nice and most times it is not pretty. However, it is what it is. This is what I am looking for…to live my life…..and love it……..accept it…..the good the bad……and all the ugly. You heard of love the skin you in…..Well I wanna LOVE the Life Im in…..

Sunday, October 07, 2007

life is good

Alhumduillah my internet is finally on. It took forever, but now I am here. I am happy to be able to post and express to you all my complete happiness. I moved 3 hours from where I was before. My new home is fantastic. My job is noothing less than stressful but I love it. I do less work, the work I do I love and I get paid for it. WWOOOWWW!

My son is doing ittakaf this year. I tell you this boy is amazing. he is only 10 and to have the desire to stay in the mosque foor 10 days and nights is wondeful. I had to calm my nerves because he is so young. I am happy he wanted to do it but as a mother I wanted him home. I didnt want to squash his desires so I allowed him to do it.

My life has truely been a blessing. I tell you all of this is from ALLAh. I think all the drama I went through was my test. All my pain and hurt taught me alot about myself and about how Allah will be with me as long as I stay the course. I am not saying i was perfect and did everything right, but I did trust him and found comfort in prayer. I am glad I did the things I did the way I did them because i truely believe this is my reward. I have been blessed above and beyond anything I ever dreamed of. I come home everyday and I feel happy. I am at peace. I look at my kids and they are happy. They feel settled and happy. They love their life. I can do things I could not do before. I can buy anything i need and most of what I want. I got a new mini van. I sent my mom $2000. I brought her tickets to visit me this month for 6 weeks. These are things I have wanted to do but could not. I thank ALLAh for all these blessings. I knew if I did what i knew was right and trusted him completely it would all work out for the best no matter what the best was, and alhumduillah , it did.

My life is no longer defined by my husbands wants and needs. They are all about me. I have been freed of all those needy feeling. Yes, I love him, however I found peace with myself. I see myself for what I am worth and my wants and needs are sooooooooo important. this is my life. If he comes along for the ride good for him if not my ship will still sail. I will no longer allow anyone to take from my life. other than my kids. ....kids will drain you dry............lol........

anyway i am happy to be back and I will post again soon. inshaallah

4 Comments:

  • At 6:13 AM, Blogger Safa said…

    From what you have written about your first husband.....it seems that your son is very much like him. I'm sure that looking into his face as he explained to you why he was going to make ittikaf must have been bittersweet......

    He's not my son, but I love him too!

     
  • At 12:32 PM, Blogger PM said…

    Allahu Akbar! I am so happy to read this from you. For those of us living in polygyny, I believe when all is said and done we need to be able to live with the knowledge that we treated our husband's other wife in the manner that will stand God's scrutiny on the day of judgment. That means keeping that commitment even when it isn't easy because of the otgher wife's bad behavior. I have kept that uppermost in my mind in dealing with my husband and his other family. And it is clear, that you went above and beyond anybody's expectations and for what it's worth I think you did the right thing.

    I'm glad you are doing so well.

    Eid Mubarak,
    PM

     
  • At 12:32 PM, Blogger PM said…

    Allahu Akbar! I am so happy to read this from you. For those of us living in polygyny, I believe when all is said and done we need to be able to live with the knowledge that we treated our husband's other wife in the manner that will stand God's scrutiny on the day of judgment. That means keeping that commitment even when it isn't easy because of the otgher wife's bad behavior. I have kept that uppermost in my mind in dealing with my husband and his other family. And it is clear, that you went above and beyond anybody's expectations and for what it's worth I think you did the right thing.

    I'm glad you are doing so well.

    Eid Mubarak,
    PM

     
  • At 7:18 PM, Blogger zainab said…

    Alhamdulillah...
    Glad to see you are back.I look forward to reading future posts from you,insha'allah.

     

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