Have you ever felt..........

This week I feel..............
tired
lonely
happy
sad
depressed
over joyed
overwhelmed
confused
confident
weary
and so much more
How can I feel all this in less than a week.
My emotions have been working overtime
with my job working me hard.
I love it because it keeps my mind off other things
and I also like my job so I feel so good about myself when I do these things
The thing about my job is I am the ONLY person with my title that does not have a masters. I did not have any formal training and I should be just a teacher and even many of them have higher degrees than I do. But, I just get this job. I feel it, Love it, Adore it, This job was from Allah. This job was my blessing. I honestly feel good and for the first time ever feel like this is where I belong.

Then I have my personal emotions..............man
I am thinking about getting a husband just for sex. no emotions involved. I know many people will not agree with this but the fact is I do haev needs and desires but I do not crave the drama that comes along with men. When I think of the crap I went though and many, many, of the people I know or know of; I think why do it. Why put myself in a situation that I might get hurt. I would love to find a person that understands me, will care for me, take care of me, love my kids, and will support me, not with money but emotionally, but money is nice too.....lol. However, I know that this will probably not happen. Yes, I can find a man, but can I find HIM, the one.......the one I really need to help me grow as a Muslim, a woman,a mother, a person? Does he even exist?