Why????
Why is it that men make things harder than they have to be?
why cant they be honest?
why is it when they get caught in their web of lies and deciet they cant handle it but expect the person they lied and decieved to to just be ok an d act like nothing ever happened?
why is it that Allah gave so much trust, honor, responsibility to a group of people that for the most part do not deserve it and can not handle it?
I have come to understand that pologny is not a hard thing. It can be but if done right it is ok. However, these men are the ones that make it bad. Plural marrages the way it is suppose to be done is a good thing. It can give a woman w/o a husband a good man. It can give a high maitenace man someone else to bother when one woman has had enough. It can increase the ummah, and many more things. But these men , not all but MOST mess things up. They lie and say they are not married, lie an ddont tellthe first wife abou tthe second marriage, lie and say well i dont love the first wife, lie and say i am only married to the second with for sex casue we live in seperate contries, lie about their jobs, lie to make them seem so pious, lie to themselves believing they are stong enough in islam, or mentally strong enough, or physicall strong enough to handle one woman let alone more.
Why????
How do you survie a marriage started with a lie??
How do you then trust and respect that man knowing he dieceved you?
why cant they be honest?
why is it when they get caught in their web of lies and deciet they cant handle it but expect the person they lied and decieved to to just be ok an d act like nothing ever happened?
why is it that Allah gave so much trust, honor, responsibility to a group of people that for the most part do not deserve it and can not handle it?
I have come to understand that pologny is not a hard thing. It can be but if done right it is ok. However, these men are the ones that make it bad. Plural marrages the way it is suppose to be done is a good thing. It can give a woman w/o a husband a good man. It can give a high maitenace man someone else to bother when one woman has had enough. It can increase the ummah, and many more things. But these men , not all but MOST mess things up. They lie and say they are not married, lie an ddont tellthe first wife abou tthe second marriage, lie and say well i dont love the first wife, lie and say i am only married to the second with for sex casue we live in seperate contries, lie about their jobs, lie to make them seem so pious, lie to themselves believing they are stong enough in islam, or mentally strong enough, or physicall strong enough to handle one woman let alone more.
Why????
How do you survie a marriage started with a lie??
How do you then trust and respect that man knowing he dieceved you?
posted by Livin_life_and loving_it @ 9:51 AM
2 Comments:
At 2:36 PM,
Safa said…
question number one....I don't know. I need to know an answer to that as well.....
question number two....you don't.
Love you honey!
At 8:55 PM,
Anonymous said…
i've been reading quite a few blogs on this whole issue of the big 'p'.
And i would like to share something.
We have grown up with one grandad and two grandmas' (ie my dad's dad, and my dads two mums). We have always had two grandmas. We always loved them both and they gave the same in return. We never asked questions as to why our grandad married twice. To us that was just the norm. Then two years ago, my mum told us the real story. My dad and his elder brother were both young when our real grandfather died. Thus my grandma became a widow with two young sons and no-one to take care of her.
Meanwhile, there was a couple who were married for years, and could not have children. The wife said i 've heard about a woman who is a young widow, why dont you marry her so that we can have a family in the home? After hesitation the husband agreed and married my grandmother. They then had two children. But the first wife never did have any children.
Subhanallah, the friendship that these two women had was so close. They were literally best friends. The first one took care of my dad and my uncle like they were her own children. And the second one allowed the first to raise her children without harbouring any hard feelings.
Last year the first grandmother passed away. And do you know what the second grandma said? She said 'Ohh Allah! Why didnt you take me with her too? I'm all alone without my husband and now my friend too.'
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