As salaamu alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu, This is my life…this is my world the way “I” see it. It may not be nice and most times it is not pretty. However, it is what it is. This is what I am looking for…to live my life…..and love it……..accept it…..the good the bad……and all the ugly. You heard of love the skin you in…..Well I wanna LOVE the Life Im in…..

Friday, April 27, 2007

Wow 10 day since i last posted. Either life has been really good or it ihas been really bad.

The thing that has been on my mind is life and how short it is. We sometimes forget this. At any moment we can be taken away and that is the end. If I look at my like lately and think about all the time I have WAISTED thinking about how hurt I am or how my husband did or did not do something. I spend WAY too much time thinking about him and my feelign fo rhim. WHAT about my feeling for ALLAH?
I wake up sometimes with thought of my husband and this wife. I think about how thing went , may go, when , if , what if, how much, and the list goes on. I do not remember a day when i woke up thanking Allah for just being alive. I do not remember a day when i had a free time and Allah popped into my head. I do think it seems liek when I am understress and need help form him.
When I should do thins automatically. I should wake up and praise him, Not just pray and then think of my husband and our problen, his problems or their problems. I should think of how wonderfula nd great Allah is.
So thins is what I plan to do. No it will not happen overnight but it will happen inshaallah.
I have started by praying all prayers with all sunnahs. I think this is a start for me. I usually only do the sunnah prays in t he morning and maybe the ones after magrib. On fridays at jummah i do sunas but that is it. So now i will inshaallah do them all. This will make me at least think of allah more during the day. then I plan to read more. I used to love to read islamic things but I do not do it as much.
My next thing is to stop working. Then I can spend time doign the things I talked abotu doing when i moved over seas, Learing Quran, goign to classes for fiq, Learnign more hadiths..the list goes on. Alhumduillah my kids are doing these things but what abotu me. I need this for myself. My kids know more suras than I do. This is sad. They go to class everyday from asr to magrib they have in the last 2 yrwars learnd more things than I have. Masha allah I am proud of them and happy they like learning, but what kind of survant of allah am I to not do the same for myself.

As for my life it is just that MY LIFE. I have my ups and downs. But as long as Allah keeps me alive I will deal with them. Inshaallah just now maybe they wont consume me.


  • At 2:18 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    As Salaamu Alaikum....Alhamdulillah this is the right thinking. May Allah increase you with the fear of Him and increase you in ilm, ameen. Yes if we focus more on the creator and not the creation we will get two rewards. One from Allah for the remembrance of Him, trying to get closer to Him. And two the reward of ease in our life, not worrying about hubby and co and all the madness that shaitan throws at us to try to shake us in our deen. Insha Allah this will help for sure. Keep up the positive thinking wa billahi tawfeeq.

  • At 10:35 PM, Blogger Safa said…

    Masha always continue to amaze me by your strength of Eman and ur ability to get back up.......


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