As salaamu alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu, This is my life…this is my world the way “I” see it. It may not be nice and most times it is not pretty. However, it is what it is. This is what I am looking for…to live my life…..and love it……..accept it…..the good the bad……and all the ugly. You heard of love the skin you in…..Well I wanna LOVE the Life Im in…..

Saturday, May 12, 2007

Why it is hard

For me living overseas can be overwhelming at times. Being alone most of the time I have to do many things for myself. Not having a man to do your everyday things can be frustrating. It is extreamly frustrating when you are a woman used to doing it all herself. Another thing that is hard is the paperwork. They have paperwork for everything. You do not do anything once here. And the last thing is even though YOU may be here to make hijurah most peopel are not, Yes this may be a muslim country but your boss usually is not Muslim.

When I was in Kuwait I was approached too many times by men wanting to buy sex. It happened 7 in the morning, early afternoon, on my way home from work, leaving the supermarket, or just walking to the bakala. They were like vultures. I HATED IT. To see these men dressed in a clean thobe and act that was was sickening. I know men are men but i didnt expect this is a Muslim country. Hijab is suppose to keep men away and protect the woman, but in Kuwait it was the opposite. when a woman is alone or with her children and she wears niqab she is thought to be selling herself. how sick is that. I left Kuwait for this reason. I did not want my girls being subjected to this type if behaviour.

when you are used to being an independant woman it ia very hard haveing to step back and let a man do jobs you are used to doing. This is very hard for me. I am used to calling to have things fixed and talkign to whoever answers the phone. here they all want to ask for the husband. This irratates me. I can talk for myself. I also do not like needing a man to sign your lease, or do anything leagle. I am a grown woman mother of 4 children and I need a man that is not even their father to sign papers for them........come on!!!! The apartment is mine. I work it , it is my job that pays the bills but he is needed to represent me.....????? This is beyond me.
Then the paperwork to get a visa for these countries. Let me tell you if you are looking to go to the gulf....really think hard and if you do have EVERYTHING DONE CORRECTLY. They are making it very hard to get a job here and they are requiring more nad more paperwork to be done in order to get a job and a visa. You have to get everything attested. A woman can only sponsor her husband or children unless she is a teacher or work in the medical field. So if you have a husband like mine that is not trained in anything usable you may have problems. Rent here is more than the price of ownign a home in the states. It is very clean and pretty but I have to say it is very over priced the rules are not very welcoming. What i mean by that is . They do not care that you are wanting to come here for Islam. It is do you have the skills they( the government ) think you need in order for you to stay here. THat is it.
I know each contry has a right to do what they want but to me. if this is a Muslim country they should be more welcoming and accomaditing to Muslims that want to come here for Islam........I mean they look at what country a person comes from to decide what job they can or can not have. A man from the US cant just come here and say you know what I will take any job. I just want to be around Muslims. Here the ads will say, For Indains only or What ever country..... This is sad. then to top it all off even if a brother said you know what i will clen the streets just to stay here. if he has a FAMILY forget it. If you have a labor job they usually come with low pay and shared housing. If you do nt make over i think 4000 a month you cannot sponsor your family to come with you. Also if you have a labor job like i said you will live with maybe 10 men ina 2 bedroon flat. So you are stuck without your wife all alone surrounded my men.....HUMMMMMMM How islamic is that. Men need their wives. some men spend years here without seeigntheri families. they may get to go home oncea year if their sponsor allows them. Famliy is very important in Islam but here It only seems to matter if you are from privaliged countries.
This leads ,me to that fact that more managers will not be Muslims and If they are they dont care that you are and will sometimes take advantage of that fact. They will offer you less for a job they will pay a non muslim. This is because they kno wmany americans are here for Islam and will do anythign to stay here so they underpay you. Sad but true. I know a woman that has a degree and many years experience but was payed WAY less than her non Muslim co workers.
I work in a school that Ahumduillahllah pays everyone that same for overseas contracts. But I also work with alot of non Muslims and I have to hear tons of talk about how they think some of the rules are outragous, or see them mock a woman thatr has on Niqab. I hear many conversation that are against Islam so this job has its downsides. I feellike i do not fit in. While I am american I do not relate to the Americans becasue they all go out and drink, go to the nbeack, partys, ect. I do not fit in the the Arabs becasue They tend to be to themselves and not see me as Muslim becasue I am American. Most think I am Muslim becasue of a man. OH pLease, My whole family is muslim from my grand parents on down. So that is far from the truth. But this is my reality at the moment.
What I do like is Uae is beautiful. I love all the beautiful Mosques and parks. My kids can go into a park and stay for hours. I love being close to the ocean I just like to see it. It is calming. I like that there are things to do.I am not stuck being bored like in Egypt. There was NOTHING to do with my kids. Dirty parks, not much to do for free. So I do like it here better, as for islam. I dont think it si a good as Egypt but I guess you haev to take the good with the bad and weigh everything out

The people


  • At 3:30 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    i feel for you. im of pakistani descent and since i was mostly raised in the US, i feel like i would feel some of what you are feeling living there, but other parts i may not feel.

    im commenting cuz im considering moving there w/ my family.

    i think you being american does probably make it hard for others to easily befriend you. these people are used to befriending people 'of their own kind' period. its not like in the US where we're way more open to making friends from all sorts of backgrounds.

  • At 3:57 AM, Blogger Living as Saira said…

    You don't need to be in the middle east to know about Islam and to be around muslims. Islam is the 2nd largest religion here in Singapore. We have muslims, chinese, indians and caucasians. We are not discriminated for any reasons. We are living beside each other and we respect each other's culture. Muslims here have their own space to learn about islam as there are many mosques and islamic classes conducted throughout the island. Muslim women here are not restricted by any laws and we are seen as a woman regardless of religion, with or without the Hijab. We can even go swimming here with the appropriate swimwear. ( diver suit-like swimwear with the head scarf).Men here are are not like the vultures you mentioned and they can be jailed if they behave inappropriately to any woman. We dont need any man to represent a woman for any official business. I love my country. I am given my rights as an individual and to practice islam without any constrictions.

  • At 12:07 PM, Blogger Livin_life_and loving_it said…

    You are right I do not have to be in the middle east to be around Muslims or learn Islam. I said I think it is easier to learn Islam at home in the states. However, I do think it is better to learn Arabic here. One I hear it all day when i am out and about. I have picked up more words and get to use them often in my class when I play with my students. Also, in other countries I would have to deal with yet another language. One is enough for me.
    My hope before moving here was to learn arabic well enough to understand the Quran better. I have to read it in English. Doing that I am not getting the true wording. I am gettign the words another person THINKs is the best way to translate them. Translations vary from book to book. I want to hear Quran and feel it and understand it for myself not have to think of what the word is in english and then figure it out.
    Your country may be freer but so was the states. My reason for moving here I think are still valid. I wanted to be amoung Muslims, Learn Arabic and Quran and Inshaallah give my children something I did not have in the states; A pride in being Muslim as a child.

    Here they get that. They are not the odd man out so to speak. Am I truely happy being here NO!!! But my kids feel better, yes they miss home but they do like it here. SO all in all My sacrifices are worth it for them.

  • At 5:22 PM, Anonymous musulmana said…

    Assalamu Aleikum wa Rahmatulahi wa Barakatuhu,

    You seem to be of split-mind over living in the Middle East.

    When I reverted to Islam many years ago, the last thing I wanted was to learn about Arabic culture! LOL! I find that mixing culture with religion often doesn't do justice.

    For some people, leaving their home is an unnecessary difficulty. And certainly, Allah (SWT) created Islam for the whole world, not just for the Arabs. I do not believe that Muslims were supposed to inhabit only Arab lands,. You can't even fit 1.2 billion people in the Middle East if you wanted to! LOL

    And language, well, my first language is Spanish, and although I was born and raised in the U.S., many people speak Spanish here. Many of my friends speak Arabic or Urdu.

    Allah (SWT) accepts us whether we can speak Arabic or not, I am sure you know that. Some of us like to do dawah, some of us would rather be hafiz Quran, some of us would like to study Fiqh, giving that, if Allah (SWT) put in your heart an inclination to want to study Quran, then you are one of those in which Hijrah to an Arab (not necessarily Muslim) country would be in order. So congratulations for that. If your intention is pure, then you should be really happy that Allah (SWT) put you where you are. Masha'Allah.

  • At 1:14 PM, Blogger Safa said…

    I love what you love and hate what you hate.....u know why? Cause I love you for the sake of Allah.....and because you are my sister......

    I really, really just want you to be happy.....and get off this damn's been a long two years for the both of us......I'm ready for it to stop........and I think you are too.....


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