that is not what u said yesterday

this is my last post to you. After this I am finished.

In your comment you did not what u said in this last comment maybe if you had i would not have been so upset. You need to question your self before you make statements because your words have an affect on others. becasue of you my feelings were in a an uproar. i was an emotional wreck because you said things that to me where out of line and uncalled for to have the never to campare me a MUSLIM to a prostitue i think is a bit much....and since you have trouble with remembering exactly what you said i will remind you

.....you said and I quote

A call girl or prostitute receives payment for her time with men either in terms of housing, food, or money so that she can provide for herself. Astaghfirullah, I hate to use this example, but really, I think it is shockingly necessary. You have a grown man and his pregnant wife living in your home with you and your children while you work. Some time is extremely wrong. You're a Muslima and you have more honor than that.


so like i said you had issue with me allowing my husband and his wife, oh no you had to make th epoin that it is his pregnant wife life with me.......like i said yesterday that fact that she is pregnant has no bearing on the situation. The fact was yesterday and still is that this is OUR choice and who are you to voice such a strong opinion about things you knew little about.


then you said

I also worry about the children in such cases? Are they learning that the Muslima is the bread winner, the maintainer, AND protector? That the Muslima relinquishes the rights Allaah has bestowed upon her for the sake of the love of men and companionship?

The fact is my children know my husband is disabled.they see him on days when he cannot walk, they see him when he crys becasue he can not make sujood during salat, they know he is in so much pain at times that he cannot move. So my children do not think a woman is the bread winner of the home because they know even though they are not his kids...he ALWAYS provides for them......he buy their clothes.i buy the extras, he buys the foods..i buy the extras.the candy, the chip, the juices, the things we do not need but want.....they know this.....they do not see me as a bread winner they see my has his helper. i help him do things he can not do. i assist him in ALL things. not only things that pertain to me....No i do not have to allow him to have his wife live with me.....but sister if this is what OUR family want who are you to say it is wrong. if I allow him to live with me for extra time and campanionship then is me... and the fact is if i am happy he is happy and she is happy then where is the sin....where is the problem.......

then u had the nerve to say.......

But sister, let your husband be a man and a husband to the both of you because Allah requires it. Because even if you condone his getting over on you or not, Allah is still going to question and give him his due regarding it. Don't you want Allah to love your husband and grant you all hasanat? If so, know that marriage isn't just about love and receiving sex. It's about helping another Muslim by being there to enjoy the good and forbid the evil.


My husabnd is a man........100% for him to not only move overseas living int he condition his lives in shows me he is a man.......and like i said yes i work...I buy all the extras like the maid, the extra clothes, food, and satilight but I get them because i want them not becasue i NEEd them.so the things i need he provides for me and MY children that are not his very well... in that respect i do nto complain..he does the best he can with what he has. Yes, allah requires him to give me my rights but allah being all knowing like he is and not you knows that there are times when men, good men cannt do all they may want to do for thier families and he allows women to use what they earn if they choose to help. he also allows a woman to forgo any or all of her rights. this is quran and sunnah.this is not me..your word came from your and you lack of knoweldge of my situation...and your eagerniess to judge.......so yes allah will ask him did he provied my family with food........the answer will be yes, didshe provide housing....yes becuase he is building not just one home but 2 for me and my son. did he clothes us, yes he does.......is he kind to us........I can say since they have moved in he is become kinder, gentlier, more compassionate, taken or more qualities that i love. are we a family that is helping one another by enjoy the good and forbid the evil. then the answer to that would be another yes, we make sure each other pray. she has shown my kids different duas, I have helped her learn english, we go over quran and hadith every night. my husband goes over a story about the phrophet before we go to bed. I have taught her a few hadiths she didnt know. We pray together, remend each other to make sunnahs, get up in the middle of the night to pray.....so neither of our marriage is based on love and sex we haev a strogn dose of islam each and every day.this again is somethign we didnt get before we lived together so this is a huge improvement for all.

so please like i said yesterday, next time ask questions before you assume. And if you cant do that then do not say anything.....