As salaamu alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu, This is my life…this is my world the way “I” see it. It may not be nice and most times it is not pretty. However, it is what it is. This is what I am looking for…to live my life…..and love it……..accept it…..the good the bad……and all the ugly. You heard of love the skin you in…..Well I wanna LOVE the Life Im in…..

Friday, December 28, 2007

Benazir Bhutto assassinated -

Tuesday, December 25, 2007

If I could say I love you

When I was younger I grew up in a family that was split. My mothers family were all Muslim. However, My dad had mostly Christians in his family. So, I had the best of both worlds durign the holidays.
I could go over my dads moms house and have a ball.SHE SPLOIED me rotten. I was the only girl in the family, she had 5 boys, and the first grand child.
So, I got evrything. I didnt get Christmas presents…..she wanted to respect my parents faith, but we did go shoppignt he day after chritmas…;) and stocked up on important things…..Like clothes, shoes, and the very important…..TOYS!!!
yeah all the things we got were christmas gifts but inmy head they were until I got older and figured out what she was really doing.
Anyway, I remember she would cook every year. I mean COOK…..OMG she would fix at least 7 cakes and pies, several breads, turkey, chicken, ham..never got to eat that…..and sometimes a roast….then there was the side dishes….yams, mac and cheese, greens, string beans, cranberry sauce, stuffing, mashed pototoes, and more. I am gettignhungry just thinking about it.
I wish for one day I could go back. Just to see all the peopel I cant see anymore. If I had known then what I know now……maybe I would have loved them more…showed them more…….and cherrished them a whole lot more.
I miss my grandmother…she was strong and loving….that is why when i had my first daughter there was no choice in her name…it had to be after her…..I wanted her to be like her in many ways……I wanted her to be strong and wise. i wanted her to love herself and family……I wanted her to have a sprit of truth about herself…..
My uncle thomas…..Gosh it is strange but I miss him the most…..I have not seen him in years..since i was 16, dont know if he is alive or dead….he walked away from his family the day he burried his mother…….I guess he forgot he had a niece that loved him and wanted so much to be a part of his life. I would have LOVED for him to see my kids or just have a phone conversation as an adult. My other Uncles are dull, the youngest and my dad spend ttheir lives trying to out do each other. i remember one yr we went to Disney and we spent a week, well I did, listening to them see who knew more or who had the most……”oh no ill pay for this..oh no i got this one……..did you know this was made i think your wrong really it was made in ..and by……becaue”…….oh i wanted to yell who the heck cares……we are in Florida and we are on vacation and this is suppose to be fun….I guess they stopped trying to out do each other and just figured out they are both full of sh**….My uncle was an alcoholic and cocaine user that ened up losing his family and dad……well he has been married too many times to count and lived so high on the hog that when he when he feel he ended up on my sofa for a yr….I could have said this is what u get for all they years you cheated your kids out of child support by sendingin FAKE tax returns ……saying you made $30,000 when you made over $100,000..and then didnt even pay ……or how about when you were so busy wining a dining your women you forgot birthdays and how abotu my PHONE NUMBER!!!! but i allowed himt o stay with me and I actually enjoyed him most time……..but that is a different story
then my other uncle the male whore turned christan has to save my soul…….nuff said i think..
so Thomas was the cool one. He would just have fun…..he took literally thousands of pictures of me. when my grand mom died they went throu her things and found trash bag full of photos……..that is how my dad devliverd them to me. in trash bags…….I guess that should have showed me how important I was to him them…….but that is a different story:)
anyway he would just pick me up and take me out and hang…..I learned later when i was older he was gay and depressed…..So what i thought……He was gay…does that make him less a family member…….No I do not believe in that lifestyle. But he is my uncle and I loved him. I wish I could have told him…….I wish I had a chance to spend another holiday with him……..he has to be in his late 60s now……If he is alive……AIDS took alot of gay men……..I hope he is not one of them…..and if he is I hope he didnt die alone.
so to my uncle Thomas…..Merry Merry!!!! and I do miss and LOVE YOU

Monday, December 24, 2007

WHY did the male cow have utters

OK, I know I am late seeing this but I am just slow. My kids have the DVD Barnyard. I was trying to look at it today while I was working out.

Well the stupid male cow had UTTERS.....OK i know this is not a serious topic but ..............WHY???!!!!

I thought male cows were bulls. What happened to the horns?? Why make him femine?? What are they making some statement that went WAY above my head.........
Maybe I am anal but this thing freaked me out so much that I had to google it too see if I was wrong.........NOPE Im not........

so here is my ramble for the see how dull my life is ......
MAN I NEED A MAN!!!!!!!!

Saturday, December 22, 2007

Women Charged With Sexually Assaulting UNC Football Players ::

I read many rape stories on here. Most on P.M.s Blog....I usually feel sorry for the woman or boy/man and think how could a person do such a thing. But then I read this......I didnt feel so upset but i did feel ....
I wonder why? I wonder how many people will think How can a woman rape a man.....

Women Charged With Sexually Assaulting UNC Football Players ::

Hillsborough — Three UNC football players were the victims in a kidnapping, robbery and sexual assault incident involving two women, the university confirmed Thursday afternoon. Chapel Hill police said the assault happened about 3:30 a.m. Sunday at an apartment complex where all three victims were bound with tape and then assaulted by the suspects. At a bond hearing Thursday, Orange County Assistant District Attorney Morgan Whitney said police arrived at the scene and found two of the victims, tied up, in boxer shorts. The third victim was fully clothed with his hands tied.At least two were sexually assaulted, Whitney said. He is still waiting on the final police report to see if the third man was also. None of the victims required medical attention.
"I am relieved that the players were not injured," UNC head coach Butch Davis said in a prepared statement Thursday. "We will assist them in any way we can."
Prosecutors said the victims met the suspects – Monique Jenice Taylor, Tnikia Monta Washington and Michael Troy Lewis – during a birthday celebration at a downtown bar and that they all went back to the victims' apartment.
Initially, one of the football players welcomed sexual advances from Taylor and Washington, Whitney said.
"They brought him back and put him in the bedroom," Whitney said. "When the victim left the bedoom, there was a naked black male in the hallway who had a knife."Whitney said Taylor then pulled off the victim's pants, pushed him down on a bed, attempted to tie his hands with his belt and started to fondle him against his consent.
"The more that he wrestled, Mr. Lewis put his knife further, or closer, to the victim's neck," Whitney said. "Ms. Taylor fondled his private parts. He repeatedly said no, and as he continued to resist, Ms. Taylor and the codefendant, Ms. Washington, began to beat him in the face."
Taylor's attorney, Glenn Gerding, said the fondling was consensual.
A neighbor, Bobby Roberson, who lives across from the players, said he heard shouting and yelling coming from the apartment .
"Somebody sounded like they were getting slammed up against a wall," Roberson said. "Then, all of sudden, you heard a guy saying, yelling for help. It was like, 'Help, help, help!'"
Police arrested Taylor and Washington at the scene. Lewis fled after a confrontation with officers, Chapel Hill police said. He surrendered on Wednesday.Taylor, 28, of 209 Millbrook St. in Greenville, and Washington, 29, of 814 Belvin Avenue in Durham, are each charged with one count of first-degree sex offense, three counts of kidnapping, one count of resisting arrest and three counts of conspiracy to commit a felony.Lewis, 32, of 2118 Lexington St. in Durham, is charged with two counts of robbery, two counts of assault on a government official, two counts of possession of stolen goods, three counts of kidnapping, one count of resisting arrest and three counts of conspiracy to commit a felony.All three suspects were initially placed in jail under a $500,000 secured bond, but Judge Cathrine Stevens reduced Taylor and Washington's bond to $50,000 Thursday. All three were in the Orange County Jail Thursday afternoon.
"This is a very unusual case," Gerding said. "Almost unbelievable, at first blush."
Reporters: Julia Lewis, Ken Smith
Photographers: Pete James, Mark Simpson
Web Editors: Kelly Gardner, Anne Leake

Thursday, December 20, 2007


While surfing the net I came across a list of Starts that support B.O… I cant even begin to spell his name. Oh NO look what his initials spell……..hummm maybe I will learn how to spell his name… I dont want to call him that.
Anyway, I wonder if these people will really help him win. I think Hillary has tons of people behind her and I wonder if STAR POWEr really counts. I wonder if it really matters. I think people will vote for him or not because of what he stands for not becuase of who stand beside him..I kind of wish he would have waited until the next election. He is so new and I think people do not know what he is all about. We know all the others a full of crap, but him I just dont know. I know this ..he just aint no Jessse Jackson. When he ran..Blk people stood in line for hours to vote for him. I dont see that with this guy. I remember that was my first yr I could vote. I came home from New York just to vote. I stood in line over a hour to make my voice heard……well I guess no one else heard it cause he lost…
Chris Albrecht, HBO chairman
Big Kenny Alphin, recording artist
Marc Andreessen, Internet pioneer
Jennifer Aniston, actress
Rosanna Arquette, actress
Tyra Banks model, talk show host
Lawrence Bender, producer
Halle Berry, actress
Valerie Bertinelli, actress
Arthur Blank, Falcons owner
Judy Blume, author
Steven Bochco, producer, writer
Andy Borowitz, satirist, writer
Zach Braff, actor
Steve Brill, Court TV founder
Christie Brinkley, model
James L Brooks, producer, director
Jackson Browne, musician
Warren Buffett, billionaire
Mark Burnett, game show producer
Ken Burns, independent filmmaker
Peter Buttenwieser, political fundraiser
Kate Capshaw, actress
Michael Chabon, author
Jay Chandrasekhar, director, writer
Peter Chernin, News Corporation president
Richard A Clarke, security expert
George Clooney, actor
Cindy Crawford, model
Drew Curtis, founder
Jamie Lee Curtis, actress
Larry David, comedian, writer
Laurie David writer, activist
Barry Diller, media mogul
Paul Dooley, actor
Michael Douglas, actor, director
Michael Eisner, Disney CEO
Kenneth Feinberg, attorney
Tom Ford, fashion designer
Jodie Foster, actress
Jamie Foxx actor, comedian
Morgan Freeman, actor
David Geffen, Dreamworks co-founder
Jami Gertz, actress
Charles Gifford, Bank of America chairman
Cuba Gooding Jr., actor
Berry Gordy, record producer, entrepreneur
Lou Gossett Jr., actor
Brian Grazer, producer
Jasmine Guy, actress
Herbie Hancock, musician
Tom Hanks, actor
Tom Hayden, activist, author
Dennis Haysbert, actor
Christie Hefner, Playboy CEO
Hugh Hefner, Playboy founder
Cheryl Hines, actress
Bruce Hornsby, recording artist
Ron Howard, director, producer
Phil Jackson, NBA coach, player
Samuel Jackson, actor
Michael Jordan, basketball star
Vernon Jordan, Washington power broker
Jeffrey Katzenberg, Dreamworks co-founder
Gayle King, editor, Oprah’s BFF
David Koepp, screenwriter
Cedric ‘the Entertainer’ Kyle, comedian
Christine Lahti, actress
Sherry Lansing, Paramount Studios CEO
Sharon Lawrence, actress
Norman Lear, television producer
Julia Louis-Dreyfus, actress
Seth MacFarlane, animator, screenwriter
Tobey Maguire, actor
Norman Mailer, author
Natalie Maines, recording artist
Barry Manilow, singer/songwriter
Stephon Marbury, pro basketball player
Branford Marsalis, musician
Greg Mathis, TV judge
Bette Midler, singer, actress
John Morgridge, Cisco chairman
Rob Morrow, actor
Alonzo Mourning, NBA star
Eddie Murphy, actor, comedian
Paul Newman, actor, philanthropist
Craig Newmark, founder
Leonard Nimoy, actor
Edward Norton, actor
Rosie O’Donnell, actress, comedian
Stan O’Neal, Merrill Lynch CEO
Adrian Pasdar, actor
Holly Robinson Peete, actress
Sidney Poitier, actor
Ellen Pompeo, actress
Maury Povich, talkshow host
Penny Pritzker, hotel heiress
Harold Ramis, director, actor
Phylicia Rashad, actress
Jerry Reinsdorf, Chicago White Sox owner
Paul Reiser, comedian, actor
Chris Rock, comedian, actor
Robert Rubin, US Treasury SecretaryEdward Rust, State Farm CEOSusan Sarandon, actress
Thomas Schlamme, producer, director
Howard Schultz, Starbucks CEO
Terry Semel, Yahoo CEOBen Silverman, NBC Universal chairman
James Sinegal, Costco CEO
Tom Skerritt, actor
Emmitt Smith, pro football player
Jada Pinkett Smith, actress
Will Smith, actor, recording artist
George Soros, financier
Steven Spielberg, filmmaker
Leigh Steinberg, sports agent
Fisher Stevens, actor
Ben Stiller, actor
Oliver Stone, director
Christine Taylor, actress
Richard Thalheimer, The Sharper Image CEO
Heather Thomas, actress
Garry Trudeau, cartoonist
Denzel Washington, actor
Isaiah Washington, actor
John Wells, television producer
Jann Wenner, Rolling Stone CEO
Tom Werner, Boston Red Sox co-owner
Forest Whitaker, actor, director
Paula White, megachurch “life coach”
Bradley Whitford, actor
Gene Wilder, actor
Rita Wilson, actress
Oprah Winfrey, talk show host, actress
Joanne Woodward, actress
Jeffrey Wright, actor
Robert Wright, NBC Universal head
Andrew Young, civil rights activist
Edward Zander, Motorola chairman
George Zimmer, Men’s Wearhouse CEO

Monday, December 10, 2007

Why are we so selfish

I have been reading a few blogs lately. Most of them have some anti polygamy entry on them. My question to this is WHY. I know I can not be the only pro "p' person that is not a man. I see to many good things that can come out of it. I don't know maybe it is me, but I think we are being a little too selfish.
Now before you all jump down my throat. Let me say I feel men are selfish also in this equation. They, more times than not, go into this the wrong way. Many times have the wrong intentions; and what ends up happening is the whole this ends up being a disaster.
A Man that marry without telling his wife. Man this is a HUGE mistake. Mistake is not even the right word it is not even a strong enough word. But I will use it now. The thing is, one lie will lead to another lie, and then you end up with a wife that will no longer trust you. No longer look at you the same way; never feel at home in her own body. She will forever, or at least for a long time, not trust her own judgment, thougths feelings are desires. These emotions will always be erratic because of YOUR actions. She will think how did this happen without me knowing. If you loved her trusted her and respected her as a woman, wife, mother why couldn't you just tell her. Open your heart and mind to her.
The thing is NO, you do not HAVE to tell your wife. but why not. I am so sick of hearing this lame excuse. It is like your wife coming home and saying "I know we have been married 15 yrs and I never told you this but I had over a million dollars in the bank and never told you. yeah i know we have been living off your small salary and yeah I could have helped you out, when you had to work 2 jobs just to pay bills, or just did it to be helpful; but it was my money and I didn't have to cause it is my right. Oh and by the way I just spent it. yeah on this wardrobe. arnt my dresses lovely. I know these dresses will in no way help you or benefit you and i am sure it is not what you want but it is my right to spend my money."wouldn't that make you feel sick. would that make you wonder what her intention where this whole time? Why she lied to you? Why after all you have done for her, fed her clothed her, worked hard for could she betray you like that? How could she be so sneaky? You would never look at her the same way. Well why do you think it will be any different for her? Why start off a marriage with a lie? Why hurt he woman you love/ Why
Marriage is about more than sex. We have to respect and love our spouses. There is no respect when you just marry and never even mention it to your wife.I am not saying she has to agree to it. NOpe not at all. It would be nice but I don't think in my opinion she has to agree. But i think if you at least told her, and not the day before. Things would be better. You would at least have her respect and she would not be so wounded.
then you have the men that get into it for all the wrong reasons. They do it just cause they can. They do not think it all out before they get into it. Then after they find out....oh this is too hard...or this really messed up my other marriage....or whatever... Men need to think with the heads on their neck and not the smaller ones below. A wife gives you more than sex, and if that is all you marry for you wont get much out of that marriage. All sex even good sex only last so long.........but a marriage ..
Marriage is inshaallah a lifetime commitment. we can not rush into these things without thought or disregard others feelings.
please think about important things like
can you afford more than one family?
can you physically handle more than one may THINK you can but the object is not to leave anyone hanging......all wives should be left feeling satisfied and fulfilled.
can you deal with all the emotions?
can you comfort and help all your wives deal with the adjustment ...
will you be there for them when they are both not liking you
will you be man enough to step up and be a man when you don't get your way?
will you stay prayed up?
will you make extra prayers?
ask yourself is it worth losing your family?
Can you give them their rights?
oh, I can go on
but as you can see it is alot to think about
and this is from a woman that likes the big "p".
so before you jump into this.........are you doing the right thing.......or are you being selfish????

women, your next

Friday, December 07, 2007

Got a text

Well I guess congrads are in order

My ex texted me
his wife had their baby yesterday

Inshaallah This will make thier lives full and he will be a blessing to them

All children are a blessing from Allah!!

Monday, December 03, 2007

Man what a week


things have changed

My life is moving in a good direction.

It looks like I will be married VERY soon inshaallah

I will let you all know

until things happen I just want to pray and ask Allah for keep my in your duas